Imagine that you are being asked to step up and take part in the very thing that you have been avoiding every day of your life since you can remember. At this point, you don't even remember why it is that you have feared this day; but the few times that you have come close to this predicament, you have felt your blood pressure begin to raise, your hands get a little balmy, your throat tightens just enough that your voice would come out a bit strained if you had to speak, and your head would began to spin as if a very bad case of vertigo had set in. This thing you fear is the same for every human being walking this earth--but no one really talks about. Each individual keeps walking around, day by day, as if no one could understand or possibly relate to the tumultuous fear that haunts them. What is this thing that is feared at times more than even death? It is the fear that someone might find out who we really are and what really goes on inside of our most secret of places--our hearts and minds!
"Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened."15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord."
So what is it that you fear the most? Have you ever really sat down and thought about it? Scripture admonishes us to not fear what they fear. It tells us to not be frightened.
Wouldn't it be amazing if when we gave our life to the Lord, that immediately all of our fears dissolved? I remember being a young man and being scared of the dark. I remember watching the movie "The Shining," and being so terrified that I was afraid to go to the bathroom by myself! I remember being asked to get up in front of the class to share my project and wanting to run out of the room out of fear of making a fool of myself. I remember asking that special girl to go to homecoming with me just hoping that she would say, "Yes." How scary that was! I remember the day I got married and the fear in my heart that I would let down this beautiful gift that the Lord has given me. I remember the fear of my first sermon preached wondering if the Lord was going to strike me dead for blasphemy. I remember the day that my wife was giving birth to my son and because of complications my imagination started telling me that I was going to leave the hospital without a child and maybe without a wife. These were all fearful times that were difficult to face, but as I ran to the Lord, He helped me through each one. Now I am a grown man and have seen the Lord do many miracles. My faith supposedly has grown to a place where I am to be an example for others; yet I still find myself wanting to curl up in a ball out of fear. Not fear of other people, not fear of failure, not even fear of the future. What scares me the most is the fear of facing what is residing inside of me. Fear that the Lord will find out who I really am. Fear that the Lord will find out that I don't really trust Him.
I have been reading a book called "The Shack," written by William P. Young. It has been quite a difficult book for me to read, but it has caused me to face many things that are residing inside of my mind and heart. At one point in the book there is a conversation between the main character, Mackenzie, and God. God told this man what his real problem was and, I hate to say it, but I think it is my problem as well.
"The real underlying flaw in your life, Mackenzie, is that you don't think I am good. If you knew I was good and that everything- the means, the ends, and all the processes of individual lives- is all covered by my goodness, then, while you might not always understand what I am doing, you would trust me. But you don't." God finishes this thought with these words. "Trust is the fruit of a relationship where you know you are loved. Because you don't know that I love you, you cannot trust me."
After reading this part of the book, I wanted to throw it across the room. Who would write a book that has so much naked truth in it? However, instead of throwing the book, I dropped to my knees and cried out to Him. I want to know and trust my God. I would like to be able to give you 10 steps to know God's love or some kind of formula that will produce the desired result of knowing and trusting God, but I don't know them. There is one step that I do know to do, and I am trying to do it every day--sit at Jesus's feet and ask Him to continue to show you His love.
As I sit here tonight writing to you, please know that there is a smile on my face. I actually think that maybe, for the first time in a long time, I do not feel any pressure to be anything or anyone but one of God's children. There is no longer a reason to hide, because I know my Father simply loves me for me!
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