Forgive me...

Ask for forgiveness to those you have wronged
Matthew 5:23-24
"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”

From my earliest recollection of getting in trouble this part of the equation is the worst. It was always so much easier to not have to look into the eyes of the wounded and remind myself how badly the bomb that I dropped hurt them. One of my childhood memories was when I was a young teenager and my brother and I went to a Chucky Cheese all-nighter. It was awesome! They gave us all of the coins we wanted. We ate pizza, drank soda and played video games all night long. I think we were in heaven; except for the fact that this large mouse bigger than my dad, named Chucky was running around the place. I don’t think there will be large creatures like that in heaven. As the sun was rising and we had to start cleaning up our mess, they made an announcement for us to bring all the coins to the front desk and to return them. It was at this point that I knew what I had to do. My brother and I looked at each other and without saying a word we started collecting everyone’s extra coins. I would like to say that we were being helpful, but, in truth we had no intention of giving this treasure back. We stuffed all of these coins into our backpacks so no one would see them, and waited for our parents to pick us up. What an incredible opportunity we had before us. We were going to come back and play as many video games as we wanted. This was when Chucky Cheese had some of the best video games in town. Our plan worked well and we made it all the way home. That is until our mother decided to help us clean out our backpacks; without our permission, I might add. She found this huge stash of coins and started asking us silly questions, like, “Where did you get these?” Well of course we were intelligent enough to come up with a story of how they were extra and they said we could have them. At the time I didn’t realize that my mom was smarter than we were and already knew we were lying. As she called around and found out the truth, we were busted-- which wasn’t that big of a deal, because my brother and I always got into trouble. We would get punished, feel bad, and then life went on. This time was different though-- she went crazy on us! She made us go and meet with our Youth Pastor Rick Ouimet and with the manager of Chucky Cheese and tell them what we had done. I had to face these people with tears flowing down my face and tell them we had stolen at least $500.00 dollars in coins. It is funny because for the life of me I cannot remember what punishment we received from my parents but the scar of having to face those I had wronged has never left me.

So now the questions that we all ask come to the surface… Was it really necessary to go and meet with my pastor and the manager? If the Lord forgives me, why do I have to go back and remind that person of the wrong I have done? Haven’t I already caused enough damage? For sure there is timing in all that we do and depending on the offense maybe it is good to give some space to the wounded. Those details will need to be worked out with much prayer and wisdom. However, in time the Lord will show each of us when the moment has arrived to step up and face the wounds we have created. I assure you that the Lord’s heart for you and me is to find reconciliation with one another. I have to pause right now and become brutally honest with you. There is nothing about this part of the equation that is easy or is possible without strength from God. I do not even like writing this segment of my thoughts down! However, this ingredient of the forgiveness process is crucial- not so God will forgive us, but, it will allow life to flow once more.

Hard Truth #1
If you are the one wounded it is important to find resolve to
avoid bitterness and poison to the soul.

Hard Truth #2
If you are the one who caused the damage, then, before you
can truly move forward and offer all that you are to God, you must
take this final step of humility.

Lord, please help us as we deal with wounds and infections in our hearts. Some of these wounds are self inflicted and some have been caused by the carelessness of others. The cause of the wound will never change the plan you have to make each of us whole and complete once more. Please help us learn how to lay our life before those we have wounded and ask forgiveness and allow us to forgive those who damage us. Not one of us deserves forgiveness, but, you gave your very life to assure that each of us will have the opportunity to find healing and health. Please forgive us for our stubbornness and give us strength to face the unfaceable. Show us how to look past all the pain that we feel to be able to see what you see when you look our way.

I love you. Amen

Confessions...

James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

Does this scripture apply to you today? Why do we need to confess? Do we confess our sins to each other so the Lord will forgive us? Didn’t Jesus already die for my sins and now nothing can separate me from His Love?

I believe with all of my heart that this scripture is for today as much as it was for the day that James inscribed it on his tablets. However, this scripture was never meant to pertain to forgiveness. It is talking about being healed. Of course the Lord will forgive- it is a promise He has made that was sealed with His very life. Confession is purely for the sinner to find health. If we keep all of our thoughts, ungodly cravings, and temptations to ourselves, it will only be a matter of time until we are not strong enough to withstand the pull of these painful acts. When we take the time to confess what we struggle with, it will invite God’s holiness into the situation; like light into a dark room. This will not be a comfortable transition, but it is a necessary step in fighting the schemes of the Enemy. For a moment, think about those times when you wake up early in the morning. Your eyes have been closed all night and they are used to the darkness. That is, until someone walks in the room and flips on the light. In that moment your brain feels pain and your eyes will wince as they attempt to adjust to the extra doses of light that are present. This is exactly what happens when we begin being honest and confessing our sins. The light is turned on and, though it is a little painful, all can be seen and future problems can be avoided. Can you imagine if you have been living the darkness for more than a night? Imagine it has been 20 years of darkness and now it is time to light up the room. At first, it is going to hurt, but the Lord has a way of taking the pain and bringing comfort in its place. It is through the displaying of who one really is that healing for the soul will take place. Just imagine all of the things you will not have to trip over when you can see where you are walking!

Now a note to the one who just heard the confession…
Let’s say you just sat with your best friend and they confided in you the shortcomings they have struggled with. Some of them may be hurtful towards you or you may find yourself shocked at what is going on beyond the façade that you have watched every day. Your response to the honesty is almost as important as the confession itself. You will need to be honest and upfront about how you feel and what you think. It is at that moment that your chance for honesty has arrived. This is also where forgiveness is looked at and is granted. The miracle of confession does not result in all of the problems disappearing. The result is truth. There still will be temptations and difficulty from day to day. However, the strength of that craving will be much weaker and can be dealt with as you stand with your friend in prayer and support. Too many times people confess sin and it turns into a time of shock, fear and judgment instead of the healing that God intended. If we are honest with ourselves, we will be forced to admit that we are as broken as the person sharing their failures. My encouragement is for you to take the opportunity to be honest yourself about some of your own areas of secrecy and pain.

I encourage you to pray and ask the Lord to show you who you can trust with the real you. This may not be the first person that comes to your mind. Whoever it is that you decide to confide in, bear in mind that it is a priority to share the true you sooner instead of later. The longer you sit in the darkness with your temptation, the more control it will have over you and your loved ones. I have been told that there is an anonymous website out there that allows you to confess things you have done or how you really feel about something but no one needs to know it was from you. This type of web site may be insightful, as it will show you that when we strip away all of the masks that are worn by people every day, we all have the same brokenness inside. We all have the same need for a savior. The problem with this site is that confession only brings health when there is relationship, because relationship will immediately cause accountability and accountability brings health. Take some time today and ask the Lord if there are hidden areas in your life. You may be surprised at what wonderful miracles happen when the truth is told and you are no longer living in the dark.

Make a Personal Decision to Change

1 Corinthians 15:34
“Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God—I say this to your shame.”

The message for this week may seem too simplistic to some but it has served me well for the last 20 years of attempting to live for the Lord. The message is: Stop what you are doing long enough to make a decision of who you want to be. Over the years I have had many people step into my office with problem after problem looking for answers. There are very few of them who considered what it would cost for the changes that needed to take place. They would feel horrible for their sin and walk in depression because of their habits, and due to the pain, decide that changes are necessary. However, those changes meant they would need to shift their daily schedule, alter the people they call friends, and quite possibly do a total 180 degree turn in more than one area of their life. I hope to not distract from the amazing power of God to transform our lives, in order to explain that without making a decision to change, life will continue to spin out of control and eventually will drive you off of a cliff. God has given us this amazing gift, which is truly the most loving present imaginable and quite possibly is also the most dangerous. It is the gift of free will. He will never step in and decide for you what you should do or who you should be. He promises to give you the answers and the strength if you run to Him and submit at His feet. But, He will not force you to do things that should be done. He loves you that much!

So Let’s Take a Closer Look At The Cost Of Change
1. You must be honest with yourself and those around you.
2. You must be wise with you who you allow to speak into your life. People who have walked with you down the wrong roads will always have the chance to bring you down those roads again.
3. You cannot hide your wounds. This does not mean that the whole world needs to know all of your mistakes but it does mean that the right people need to know. Take the time to figure out who those people might be (i.e. your pastor, a counselor, a mentor).
4. Face the consequences. Usually there are consequences for the rebellion that we take part in and true change only will take place as you accept those consequences.
5. Replace the habits with new activities, thoughts and attitudes. The best definition of insanity is when someone repeats the same actions over and over and expects different results.
6. Read your Bible daily! It is a light unto your path. Do not walk in the dark anymore!
7. Allow the Holy Spirit to be your guide. If we submit to the Lord the Holy Spirit is always there to show you the next step. You just have to take the time to listen and be patient for the answers.

I am sure that you will be able to add more practical steps to this list, and I encourage doing so. If you notice on my list of things for you to accomplish, none of the points encourage you to carry the burden or be strong enough on your own. The Lord accepts you just how you are and knows that you are not strong enough to walk on your own. If you will submit to Him your daily life and decisions, then, He will give you the strength to endure through any hardships you will face and He will perform the miracle of transformation.

Submitting To God

Acts 3:19
“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord, and that he may send the Christ, who has been appointed for you—even Jesus.”

In my last blog entry, I laid out a path to follow when you find yourself going in the wrong direction and have begun to wake up from the seduction of sin to see that you are no longer following the Lord. I plan to take the next 4 weeks to explore each of the milestones along this journey to health and wholeness. Our first stop is quite possibly one of the most difficult—submitting our problems to God. I am not speaking of only a desperate prayer as you are sitting there in the waves of guilt. Many of us have run to God and asked forgiveness only to find ourselves returning to the sin as if it is a drug that controls us. This submission I am referring to has to more to do with allowing Him to begin leading your desires and decisions, than the emotions of anger and guilt that arrive after a sin is committed. If you are not ready to submit your life to God, then, I am sorry to say, you are not ready for change. Scripture is very clear regarding the idea of us being a slave to sin or to the Lord:

Romans 6:16-18
Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.

Here are a few very practical steps to take to submit your life to the Lord.
1. Give Him Your Daily Schedule
This may sound like a strange way to begin, but most of us are ruled by what others believe we should be doing, or by all of the commitments we have that should not have been piled on top of each other in the first place. If Satan, the enemy of your soul, can keep you so busy that your life is spinning faster than you can run, then he has access to wreak havoc in any area of your life that suits him.

2. Give Him Your Words
Focus on what you are saying to others. Listen to the jokes that are shared, the tone of your voice, your attitude, and all of those moments of complaining. Our mouths become poison for the rest of our being once it has been corrupted.

3. Find a Daily Devotional
The one mistake that many people make is in deciding to submit their lives to God, but never feeding that desire with the Word of God. Don’t feel like you have to go and join a Bible study that requires hours of study to keep up with it. Simply find a daily devotional that you can easily read on a daily basis and make it a priority.

4. Be Careful What You Are Feeding Your Sinful Nature
This is probably one of the most difficult things for each of us to know where to draw a line in the sand. We can not hide ourselves away in a cave and avoid everything that might tempt us in the wrong direction; yet we must separate ourselves from the ongoing ideas of sin. You will need to run to the Lord and ask Him for daily guidance on what areas of temptation should be avoided.

This week we discussed the importance of submitting to the Lord. Next week we will discuss the importance of making a personal decision to change. My encouragement to you is to not get frustrated and give up. It is too easy to feel overwhelmed by the chasm of where you are and where you know you need to be. In those times of desperation, instead of running to the vices that have created your dilemma, I pray that you will run to the Lord and His truth.

So What Now?!?!?!?

Let’s say I have walked the wrong way. I have chosen the wrong friends. I have spoken the wrong words. I have made the wrong decisions and taken the advice that led me down paths that do not honor my God and His sacrifices. What do I do when God is calling me to Himself but I am too ashamed to go, because He knows who and what I really am?

It would make sense to stop and repent. In a real and practical sense, simply make a u-turn and never return to that path again! Doesn’t that sound so easy on paper? To listen to someone tell me that I am going the wrong way certainly makes sense, but to take my daily life and just change overnight feels like an impossible task. Especially when those wrong choices have given me an escape from some of the consequences I fear. I mean, to be honest, as much as I hate the guilt and emptiness that comes with these life style patterns-- facing them seems even scarier. The last thing I want to do is to look into my friends’ eyes and apologize for lying to them, or sit in a counselor’s office and let my wife know what really goes on in my mind, or have an honest moment with my children and show them that their father was mistaken, or sit in a worship service and let my God see the rotten mold that has grown while I thought He wasn’t watching. I am sure that you have your own examples that you could place in this paragraph. No matter what situation you face, it requires the same type of attention--God’s presence and grace, and a whole lot of integrity and honesty.

One of the personal issues that I dealt with as a young man came in the form of deception. I was insecure about who I was and, to be fully honest, I didn’t like who I was. I remember being in church and listening to someone share their wonderful testimony about how they were saved from drugs and alcohol. Everyone cheered for them, and I was jealous! Why couldn’t God save me from drugs and alcohol? Well, without ever touching a drug or becoming an alcoholic, I decided to tell everyone about the drugs and alcohol that were destroying my life, and how God saved me. It was a blatant lie, and one that I am sure everyone saw right through. Yet it began a habit in my life of trying to appear to be something different than I was. The lies grew and grew, and the truth became more and more confusing. Then one day the Lord truly dealt with me and I had to confess my lies to all of the people who were close to me. They must have thought I was crazy. It was a very difficult habit to break, as the lines between truth and lie were so intertwined that I honestly didn’t know one from the other. I remember when I begin dating my wife, I would tell her stories of my past and then have to be honest and confess that I was unsure of whether or not that story actually happened. I am happy to say that the Lord has taken this horrible weakness and has turned it fully around. Most people who know me would probably say, in fact, that I am too honest. So how did this weakness become a strength? What steps did I have to personally go through to allow the Lord to fix this problem that would have led me down dangerous paths?

1. Submit the problem to God
Acts 3:19
“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord, 20and that he may send the Christ, who has been appointed for you—even Jesus.”

2. Make a personal decision to change
1 Corinthians 15:34
“Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God—I say this to your shame.”

3. Tell someone of your problem
James 5:16
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

4. Ask for forgiveness to those you have wronged
Matthew 5:23
"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”

5. When you feel the problem re-growing quickly expose it for others to see
John 3:21
“But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

6. Make it a point to tell others about what God is doing to repair the brokenness
Acts 20:24
“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.”

7. Be available for God to use your weakness as a strength
Hebrews 11: 32
“And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets, 33who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, 34quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies.”

I know that taking these steps may seem more dangerous than the sin that holds you. But I am here to stand in the gap for you. I beg you to not believe that lie. It is only through trusting Jesus and allowing Him to get you on the right path will you find health, wholeness, and maturity. Every other promise that you have heard from this world and the corruption it offers will only lead to destruction and death. The Lord personally gave all that He is to come and give you a chance at life. This life can begin for you today if you are willing to start submitting your daily habits, attitudes, and decisions to Him.

Beyond the Surface

It is incomprehensible that so many people, including myself, have such a difficult time having faith in the Lord and His plans, yet have no problem talking ourselves into whatever lie we want to believe. I was sitting with my wife and kids the other day watching American Idol and was amazed at all of these horrible singers who think they sound great. It was just bad! There were times that I was so embarrassed for the person that I had to stop watching. I then told my wife that at least I am aware that I don’t sing well. If you have been watching American Idol, you are very aware of the pain that is caused by watching these people who are looking in the mirror and not seeing the truth of their situation. The more I have thought about this dilemma, the more I am reminded that each of us do the same thing in different areas of life. Maybe it does not get televised for the whole world to see but do not be misled—the world is watching.

Here are some examples that I have seen in my own life and watched in others, and at times, am still tempted to believe today.

1. “That person needed to hear what I said! They deserved for me to treat them that way!”
How many times do we say things to people out of anger, pride, jealousy, and/or pain and then try to rationalize why it was OK? We have been mandated to not let unwholesome talk come out of our mouths and it seems that, instead of holding to what we have been asked, we find reasons to believe our excuses.

Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

2. “I would forgive them if they just proved to me they are sorry and worthy of forgiveness!”
This is the most unscriptural statement in regards to forgiveness that can be found, but it is a thought that seems to haunt me every day of my life. The Bible is clear that we forgive because Christ forgave us. Not because the other person is deserving, or they have groveled enough, or they have bled enough. Granting forgiveness to others is only possible by someone who truly believes that they have sinned themselves. Once this need for forgiveness is realized it is natural to become thankful for the pardon received and it would be incomprehensible to stand in the way of that same grace and mercy for another. Ouch! I hate writing this stuff sometimes because it is truth but it hurts and I don’t like it…

Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

3. “I don’t need to do it. I can stop whenever I want to!”
One of the first lies that Satan wants you to believe is that you’re strong enough on your own. You can do it and can handle the whole thing because of your amazing strength and skill. What a load of crap! Forgive the French but it makes me angry to see people make these decisions about life on a daily basis and slowly poison themselves to the place of depression and disparity. You cannot stop visiting that Internet site on your own! You will not stop smoking, drinking, or whatever vice you are dealing with because you are a good person and can quit when you want to. If you do not open your heart and get help, you will slowly poison your life, your family, and your relationship with God to the point where the trespass will become your master! No one wants to hear this but it is true.

Isaiah 40:30-31
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

4. “What is wrong with flirting? It doesn’t mean anything. And it makes me feel good about myself.”
I am convinced that flirting with sin in any fashion is like playing Russian roulette. You place the bullet in the chamber and are hoping that this time the adrenaline rush feels as good as last time, but pray that the bullet of consequence never shows up to collect its payment for playing the game. I was speaking to a woman the other day about marriage and she was telling me that both her and her husband flirt with people all the time and it is just a fun game they play. The truth of what they are doing is opening their heart up to allow other thoughts and feelings to be planted into the core of who they are, and all it will take is for one of those seeds to take root and the game they play will quickly turn into a nightmare. This flirting problem is not just with the people that surround us but it is with each temptation that we allow into the door of our heart.

Galatians 6:7-8
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

5. “I’m a Christian. I mean, I am a good person and I don’t too many bad things.”
This statement has been made by more people than any of us would like to admit. First of all, being a Christian has nothing to do with being the “good person” the world pictures. These days, it seems most people think a good person is one who is open and accepting of whatever lifestyle someone chooses to be. The goodness that scripture refers to has more to do with having the character of God than with getting along with everyone. If you claim to know Jesus and profess that He is your Lord and Savior, then He has commanded that we are His ambassadors-- this is not just a good idea--it is the only idea.

Matthew 19:16-17
Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?" "Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only one who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments."

Each of these examples gives insight into how easily our hearts can be misled and cause catastrophic damage. We must stop taking deceptive ideas about our lives and our situations and attempt to present them as uncompromised truth. We must drill deeper than the surface of what we have tried to paint ourselves to be and find out what is at the core of our being. Are we truly serving the Lord? Are we walking in forgiveness? Are we protecting our families? Are we being true to what God has called us to be? Or have we taken the ugly truth and rewrapped it with a warped sense of reality to a place that we have personally begun to believe the lies?

If you are not careful, you may find yourself standing before an audience, believing with your whole heart that you are something that you are not. Be true to yourself and what God has made you to be. You will be amazed how fulfilling it is to live a life that has been grounded in a foundation of truth.

Wait.

Psalm 27:13-14
I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

I am finding that there is no other word in our English language that has as much frustration and protection built in to its foundational meaning. For example: It is 7:00 PM and you are hungry! As a family you decide to go out and eat your favorite food at your favorite restaurant. However, when you arrive, you’re faced with a dilemma. They have a 45-minute wait time. Your stomach lurches and groans as you know that if you don’t eat soon then you might fall over and die. You consider going to a different restaurant but your brain kicks in and says you want your favorite and so you will wait. What is 45 minutes anyway? So you sit there looking at your watch waiting for your name to be called. Have you ever noticed that time slows down when you pay too much attention to it? Those 45 minutes seem to be an eternity. You get impatient enough that you even get up after 25 minutes to talk to the host and make sure they have not forgotten about you. You see, we have all been through the waiting game, and we will all have the opportunity to walk through it many more times in this life. But what happens to us when the stakes are larger than just a dinner? What if you are waiting to hear back from a doctor’s test and they say that they will call you next week to let you know if the cancer treatment was a success or not? What if you have been waiting for your child to get home and they are over an hour late and you are unable to get a hold of them? What if that thing you were waiting to hear, to see, or to know could alter your life as you know it? Then we want it now! NOW! NOW! NOW!


Is it me or did I just sound like a child? There is only one being that I have met that seems to enjoy the process of waiting. He is the One that I have entrusted my whole life to and agree to submit to His schedule daily. He is my Lord and Savior. I assure you that His lack of expediency is not meant to frustrate, but it is instead full of teaching and wisdom. So many times He makes us wait because He is protecting us from ourselves. Other times, He is trying to prepare us for what He knows is in our future. I also believe that many times, He is allowing our example of living out life to be a witness for those around us. When those around us see that we have the ability to walk in patience, it gives validity to the faith we profess. It also gives the Lord glory as He unfolds His purposes and plans. How many times have you crossed the street holding a child’s hand and have had to make them wait because it was not yet time to cross the street? If they were to cross when their impulses told them to, it may be the last time they were to ever run again. Well, that is the picture of our Father in Heaven. The next time you are told to wait, don’t get mad and run. Don’t rebel against time and force your way across the street. Simply hold on tight to the hand of your Father, He will guide and protect you.


wait
verb- to stay in one place or do nothing for a period of time until something happens or in the expectation or hope that something will happen
noun- a period of time spent while expecting something to happen


A simple prayer,
Lord help me spend more time worried about holding on to your hand and listening to your voice than trying to figure out why you will not allow me to cross the street. I want my faith to grow but that will only happen if and when I stop trying lead the way. I am called to have faith in you not to talk you into having faith in me. Please forgive my ignorance.

Kristopher